Your Judgments About Other People Define You More Than Them


Photo: The Hope Movement Tumblr

I’ll be honest – I had the tendency to judge a lot way before, based on a person’s appearance, the books they read, the places they hang out in or  the music they listen to. In other words, I only had shallow thoughts about other people. And I would defend myself by saying, “But that’s true!”

Let’s face it, a lot of us are guilty of that tendency to be shallow. We’ve raised our eyes at people in their twenty- or thirtysomethings who openly declare their love to K-Pop, One Direction, Miley Cyrus, Ke$ha and laugh at those who read (gasp!) Precious Hearts Romances.  We would not be caught hanging out in some dingy watering hole that play Filipino jukebox hits or have Aegis or April Boy Regino. We roll our eyes at anyone who wants to go all out fashionista in the Manila heat.

For all the angst we have against the capitalist or political elite, we ourselves have the tendency to be closed off and discriminatory against anyone who isn’t part of our “ranks”, and declare our observations as truth. And we do not kid when we judge based on our preferences. Our judgments are not part of some comedy bar spiel – our judgments form what we believe to be true about other people.

But “truth” is  very relative according to one’s upbringing and personal and social experiences.  What is true to me, may not be true to him or her. What is accepted as uncool to me, is accepted as awesome to another person. What’s accepted as hip for me, is seen as over-the-top for another person. At the end of the day, these aren’t really important. Entertainment and fashion preferences don’t define you, but your behavior in terms of interacting with other people, including how you view them. Your judgments on other people define you and your relationship with them. Other things that define you is the way you deal with good opportunities and face challenges and also partly your political beliefs.

That is why I love the expressions “Walang basagan ng trip”, and “Kanya-kanyang trip iyan”. The two Filipino expressions basically mean that a person has his/her own preferences and should be left to live life and love the things that he/she likes. It connotes respect for a person and the context he or she is in. Of course there are certain limitations. Committing heinous crimes, being corrupt and doing other blatantly evil and hurtful acts are excluded.

That’s all. So before saying anything about another person, remember – your judgments about other people define you more than them.


About aisadelacruz

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